The Will of Magic
by rain35454
Summary: 5 years after the battle of Camlann, they have completed their destiny's. But there is a new trouble that going to test the will of new Albion peace and that is the queen as become barren. So fearing war would tear apart the kingdom for Arthur throne Gwen decides to choice the mother of the her husband child. With a bit of magic to turn him in to a girl she as pick Merlin.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello and thanks for checking out my story. Now this is my first story so I ask you to please use constructive criticism when reviewing and if you have any ideas for this story I have open ears, hope you enjoy.**

**I don't own or get money from this story it is only for fun. **

**Info: Arthur and Mordred battle at Camlann. Arthur was wounded in battle but was save by Merlin and Mordred died because Morgana runway instead of following after Merlin. Merlin still revels his magic to Arthur so magic is no longer ban from Camelot and they unite all of Albion 5 years later under Arthur rule. Aithusa alive and lives with the great dragon.**

**Warning: fem/Merlin, slash, Merlin x Arthur, birthing, character death, Het, gender bender, Gwen x Arthur.**

The Will of Magic

_Gwen POV_

In a time of myth and legend there was ones a great destiny that rested upon the shoulder of a young boy his name Merlin, but that destiny as long be filed by him and his other side of the coin Arthur. Who as now uniting all the lands of Albion under one rule and as free magic from being hunted from every corner of the land just as the legend said it would be. So 5 years later the people still rejoice in the glory of Albion golden years under their one true king who led the people with his courage to trump any danger that comes their way and the powerful wizard who use his mystical power to bring more prosperity to the people. Ever thing was as they hope for, so Merlin and his friends settle into their peaceful lives to life out the rest of their days in glory.

That all began to change for them when Gwen bleeding came but it was no longer a healthy heavy flow that would be a weeklong painful cycle instead of it lasted barely three days.

She was told of the signs of being barren from an older maid that was assigned to train Gwen of the working of the castle when she was nothing but a young girl new to the loss of her mother and her new duties of being a servant, so taking pity on the girl who had no one else to talk to about what was happening to her body she told her ever thing that she need to know about her growing body. What was normal and what was something she need to worry about.

Concern she decided to seek answers to the only one she could trust to plainly give them to her, so she dune on a plain looking blue dress to make her blend into the milling crowd when she walk outside of the castle walls and into the upper town.

She founds a small wooded home the insides she knows to be just like a scholar workshop filled with books, papers and experiments piled in an organized messy fashion where a retire Gaius now lived with his wife Alice, who she when straight to after she when inside without knocking or greets she quickly grabs Alice away from the writing desk about to write something down to take her another room to ask for her help. Being that she was the only physician she knows is a woman and that also lives in walkable distance, she is the only one Gwen feels comfortable asking her about this, last thing she need was the add embarrassment of asking Gaius or their new physician Flinn if her womanly parts still work properly along with the loud thumping of her heart beating inside her ears and nervousness that her fears of what she is may be will become the true.

A empathic Alice deliver the news as gentle a possibly, she wasn't completely barren but the chance that she would became with child would be slime and those chances would most likely continue to decrease until it is no longer a possibility.

Gwen asked if anything can be done to fix her, with a firm shake of her head Alice said, "I can only give you potions that would increase your chance of convincing but it won't stop your losing your ability to make life."

"What about magic?" Gwen asked still holding out for hope for a better chance of a solution then the one Alice words was suggesting, "with Merlin's powers he can easily perform any spell we needed, so there still could be a way around this!" she continue saying growing more hopeful as ever word spilled out of her mouth.

Alice grimed at her words and said, "the only spell that could create a child where there cannot be one is the spell that Uther use to give life to Arthur, at the time people were tests the limits of magic and nature, so a spell to make a person fertile without trading someone's life was something ever one wanted to create especial the nobles. People tried mostly use healing magic to try to return what had be loss but even when bodily functions return back to normal there was never an offspring from those people." Alice looks off to the side in though and muttered," as if nature itself refuse to bend for any one will no matter the power they held or how much the parents wish for the child."

All hope was crush like a strong hold castle that had wither to dust by the hardship of time and the pieces blown away in a great wind so that nothing remain but empties. Tears came to Gwen eyes and flowed down her cheeks, Alice lend her a shoulder and rubbed her back with a comforting hand as Gwen gravely sobbed into her neck.

For not only did she failed the whole of Albion and it people that she love dearly. But most importantly she had failed Arthur and herself for she will never became a loving mother, never make Arthur a father who child would look up to him, never make a child that had Arthur leadership or braving but Gwen kindness, never experiences even baby firsts, never even know happiness of loving a child. She knows Alice said that she still had a small chance but this feelings of uselessness that came over her when Alice told her the true making her feel as if fate decided that she would be childless and she as no choice but to play that part.

Arthur try to be the strong one for her when she told him later that same day but she knows when her husband was trying covering his true emotions to try to play the strong leader that could get them out of any problem they faced. But all that did was make Arthur still hang on to the small hope that they could still have an heir since she told him Alice said she wasn't completely barren, but something inside Gwen was still telling her that it wouldn't work, that this is her fate to accept. Maybe it was the tragic that make her give up hope and not fate but that feeling never left her in the days in came.

Every night for a month he would desperately but lovely try to get her with child going into the night until early the next morning. Both of them didn't get must sleep that month and Gwen would have enjoy that more if she wasn't reminded why Arthur was doing all this but it would always hit her when after they done their daily lovemaking she would look to her left to see a sweating naked Arthur looking at her with is hopeful sparkly look in his ocean blue eyes, then the feeling of uselessness came back dragging along with it the feeling of pointlessness of it all, they would drain her of any happiness she had when she looked back at him.

She never said a word about her feeling to Arthur for he would just think that she had giving up the last hope they had. He then would work harder to try prove himself right for her sake.

Then the second week of the next month came making them realize that her normal bleeding cycle never came as usual.

She would have rejoices along with Arthur, she would have be busting at the seams with joy like a small dress being fitted to an over grow body, to the point that she truly would have be skipping up and down the halls like a young girl who was just be kissed by her crush and not the respect queen she is.

But she didn't feel like one should when you are with child she didn't feel sick, don't crave food, not feeling dizzy and her breast wasn't getting bigger. She felled fine, like it was any other day and she try telling Arthur this so he be prepare for the worst as she was. Grinning as he walk her down to Flinn, he refuse to listing to a word she said feeling high off of the victory of believing he had beating nature itself, this just make the news into a harder blow for him to take when Flinn official dub her that horrid word barren.

Desperate then ever before he seek out the same answers she did from magic asking advice both from Gaius and Merlin but had ended up with the same horror conclusion of that one acting that Arthur would never do even under threat of death.

So that night Arthur finally accept it as she did and so they held each other and cried of their loss together. They grieved for so long that they fall asleep on their bed still in their clothes cling tightly to one other.

So they had the misfortune of appearing before the court red eyes and weak spirited as Arthur hoarsely told the courtyard of people that they could not make them an heir to look for future leadership of Albion, many gravies were giving that day to them especial her close friends and brother. They try to make her feel like it wasn't her fault and she was so grateful to have true friends who would speak those words to her but as the encouraging words came to sound in her ears she could feel nothing but being failer. Maybe as time flowed on this wound would heal and she could accept her friend's words as the true someday.

The court left them mostly alone, giving them their grieves and leaving them be for another month but after that some of the people in the castle were giving them small concern looks whenever they were together in the meets or when they were walking down the halls of the castle, when Gwen saw those looks she would hear a small voice whispering inside of her, "they want to know what you are willing to do for the future of the Albion." The staring people ever said a word to her on it, unlike their eyes who said what they wanted when their mouth cannot.

She could not be truly anger with them thaw for worrying about how this was going to impact their own future, she knows how it feels to have ever thing you love be balance on the wills of others that don't know you or may not even care what happens to you and how truly scared you felled down to your core of that one person who could destroy you with just whisper of a word. Gwen had felled just the same before she really got to see who Arthur was but the people know who they are better than any other royal reign they know of and how they would almost do anything for the prosperity of the kingdom so the people know they would be taking care of.

Besides the people, they thought, were not showing signs of being extremely concern so they assumed that they could wait for them to make a plan maybe a few years later.

They were wrong about that blinded from the kindness of others at that time but it didn't show until a few months later at a round table meet, a middle age adviser suddenly stood up when Arthur was about dismiss the court and demand in a loud voice so all could hear saying, "your Majesty I know it is unbecoming of me to speak of this since it as only be but a few months since you have discover the news of your queen. But this is a matter of state and being king you are the only one who could chose the path we walk, so I ask you to revel any plans you have for finding an heir for great Albion."

Arthur barely hide his annoys for the boldness of the adviser for hitting a still sore spot on him in a dirty fight way and he repelled back using a firm authority tone, "As you say it has been only a few months so I have not thought of an alternate solution for getting an heir and I wish to speak no more of it until I see it fit to."

The adviser didn't sit back down but continue speaking trying to make his king see sense, "I am sorry sire but this is too great a concern to ignore. Your throne is too great with power not to draw the likes of Morgana through war, tricking and forced. Appointing an heir will have people arguing if the throne is rightfully his to take which will leave the kingdom in civil war, the same results if you have no rightful heir at all and instead leave the people to decide in your place. The best way to keep peace within Albion is to have an heir through your bloodline. I advise you greatly sire to seek a consort…" Arthur slammed his hand down on the table making an ear splitting sound that echo across the room firmly silencing the adviser.

Arthur looked at the adviser with dark calculating eyes a look that he obviously learned from his father and spoke in the most chilly but calm voice she had ever heard come for him, "I said there is to be no more talk of this matter and when a king gives an order he expects it be followed or loyalty will start being put under questioning." The adviser quickly sit back down and Arthur dismissed the meeting with a quick exit. No one dare try to bring it up again but the words where already out there fluttering around in the air giving more fear to the people who already stare and whisper in worry to begin with.

The man's words did the same to Gwen they were like a fly buzzing around her head you couldn't see it, so no matter how hard you try to bat it away you you can't stop it and all you can do is sit there listing to the insanity it make echo in your head never to stop, his words could drive a person to dark places of fear but they showed how right he was.

Their kingdom was now at peace after years of battling those who hated the uniting of the lands and the freedom of magic. But it wasn't hard to see someone becoming power hunger when Arthur becomes too old to fight off his enemies and his people who would start to look for new leadership to replace the one who was going to die someday, many people would love to sit on the throne Arthur now sits upon. She can see now why the man risk the king rage, for this hard win peace and this great unit land they have now if not carry on to the next generating correctly or if giving to the wrong person can destroy many future lives.

She would not let that happen because she wanting to keep her husband to herself and instead let her emotion devour her into not doing what is right for her people who she vow to take care of when she marry Arthur. She will not be the reason people spill each other's blood on Arthur throne or be the key that broke apart the land.

If years of being queen of show her anything it's that sometimes she must take matter in to her own hands instant of waiting for the help of others who might not have the right intentions for the kingdom. She deicide she will take this matter into her hands before others would as well and she will find the perfect consort for the kingdom because if has to she share her love with another then she can at least gain a little bit of comfort that its a woman that she can approve of and who will give the heir many benefits that could make the child into a great leader as its father is.

In the days that came Gwen make a list of even single, child bearing age woman that she know both personally or trust to be very loyal to Arthur. She did this all secretly from ever one else especially from Arthur, knowing her husband wouldn't ever want for her to do something like this for the kingdom nor would he help her in seeking a another, like his father did to his own mother an acting that broke his family apart and nearly destroy all else he held dear. So she make it her mission to keep this from ever one else until she found the perfect one, so she can basic her pick on logic alone and not emotions, biases, greed or other influences that could make her chose wrong. She want to pick a woman without regret haunting her days.

The list contain the whole of Albion women both noble and peasant that Gwen knows of. She immunity mark off the ones who she know to be barren like her or the one with any illness of some kind, then take off the ones that were loyal but hadn't the right personally. She loves her husband but she know his flaws of being arrogant, stubborn and the tendency to distant himself by hurting others when he was emotionally hurt himself. So having a mother which a personally at a least neutrals some of Arthur flaws and that has shown great leadership skills which could make the child life much easier then what Arthur life had been when he was growing into being an king. Being spoil as a prince with no real console on how to lead his people and his future buried with many great hardships, that he had to go through to be turn into great ruler he was now instead simply being teach how, she did not wish the same for any ones child.

But even thaw she mark the list down quite a bit as the days passed the list nearly still extend across the room, the time it toke to go through ever woman flaws, education, routine, bad habits, society circles toke up weeks at a time and she barely taking even one half of the list off.

As the days turn to weeks others begin to notice her change in behavior of the long time spend in her bed chambers, her asking for information about other woman and how she was distracted most of the time whenever she was outside the walls of her room, some even began to ask if she wanted to talk to them about what was wrong, a new fear then grow inside her of someone who was watching her in concern would discover her plan before she could revel it at the right time so she became more carefully by hided the list in her old ballroom gowns chest the big gowns would cover the long list nicely and she was always getting new ones from somebody so no one bother taking out the old dresses, it was a better place to hided it then in her bedroom draw. She only untangle the mess in that chest when Arthur was out doing his duty and her handmaid left to do her other chores.

Gwen could feel the burning worry gazes of her people as she walk the halls and could sense the tensioned of the council at the round table when her husband call upon a meeting, making her anxiety. It sit in the back of her mind clawing at her confidence on ever founding the perfect one and speaking reminders to her at others may do something before she could even truly begin her plans.

And so she became obsession with it, wanting so badly to fix the doubt in their peace as quickly as possible. She was always thinking about that list to the point that a whole day would pass without her thinking about even things else but of finding the perfect mother.

And that was what she was still thought about when the celebrating of their 2nd year anniversary of Albion peace came around. They celebrate with a festival that many other also throw throughout the towns of Albion and a great feast in the halls of Camelot castle were they have invited the other royals that help rule Albion along with them so they could enjoy their gratitude in their support of their reign.

Many have thought that they would cancel the feast in light of the recites news. But not wanting to over shadow the celebration of what they done with their tragedy they still held and came to the banquet to enjoy the meal for themselves, after all this feast was an award to their people for all their tribute in make peace across the kingdom, not holding the festival would be like them saying they were scared of the future and that they were not grateful for the people own work for peace. Gwen mostly wanted to insure the people, rather than enjoy the meal, that peace will still continue to be had with her present at the feast and speeches of encouragement for the future that will be giving at the beginning of the feistiest.

The hall was decorated beautiful thaw with all the crest of the royals that help to co-rule the lands of Albion with them, the biggest hanging in the center front of the room being of course Camelot prided golden dragon. Candles were lighted, flowers cover ever surface that wasn't going to be use, people who would be selling their wares along the streets, a circus the was coming to entertain the people on the street and inside the hall of the feast, with of course has a magical show to go along with it.

Their best wine was serve, a clear wine that taste of honey and spices that had a very strong smell to it and that floated across the room ones it was bring up from the cellar. Roast pork glaze in honey that make it shine and bring the smell of sweeten meat in to mix with the others smells of the room, which was also served with rabbit and poultry both having a delightful mustard sauce that was smothered on them. Many different cheese and fruits was serves as well. All the food delicious and the people merry, some a little too much from the honey spice wine.

They ate the delicious foods that the round table, her husband siting on the left of her and her best friend Merlin sitting on the right with all the other knights sitting close around making their own merry making. But even with all her loved ones close by, even when they try to bring her into the conversation it never last very long for she would just give a few short clipped words then she would be dragging back up into the clouds by that list again and after a while they give up on trying to keep her out of her head letting her float in the her clouds of thought in peace.

The other keep the mood light by telling some of their adventures stories, but as the night became later and them drunker the weirder or funnier the tales became it almost became a contesting for them of who could tell the most ridiculous story, she wasn't really buying much attention to them until she hear the words.

"But no one could ever top Merlin turning himself into a woman!" Arthur nearly shouting across the table, from the little redness in his face and the way he had little control of his own voice he was on the edge to the stage of drunkenness that would make Arthur not be able to tell if he was wearing pant or not . Merlin face was red as well but probably not from the wine, he pointed his finger at Arthur like a wife scalding her husband and said in a defensive tone, "It was either turn into the old woman or get arrested, I couldn't use Dragoon even more because he more likely to get arrested then if I had told you the truth."

After years of working together to overcome Merlin trust issues and Arthur past of hating magic user they had come to accepted the past, now that they no longer hurting from it they now could laugh from it.

Which is what Arthur and all the knights did when they remember the old woman some almost falling out of their chairs. Gwen could almost envision it now, not the old woman she had never see but a younger version with long straight black hair that run along a more pointed jaw line with curvy bigger hips and breast, he would have make a pretty, kind, smart girl Gwen thinks. Gwen then grow curious about if Merlin truly turn did into a complete girl or if it was a trick.

Gwen lean over to him since the others drunken laughter's became too loud to talk normally and asked, "Did you use an illusion spell to make yourself look that way?" Merlin smiled at her, happy that she join in with them even if the topic was about one of his more embarrassing stunt. He in what she learn now was his teaching voice he said, "Nope, complete transformed into the fairer gender since the only way you can make an illusion to make you look different is to steal another person face and there is the risk running into somebody who could tell you are not who you say you are or if goddesses forbid if the person themselves shows up." Merlin cross his arms and sign before he said, "Then there a way to see through the illusion all together and that way is the spell user reflection, the mirrors always revels the truth."

Gwen still founds it hard to believe when she learns about the flaws of using a spell, how could a force that can bend the world around to the needs of a single person be ruin by a simple reflection.

"Is that why you use a transform spell because you were worry that someone would accidently see through to the truth?" she ask.

Merlin points his finger out to her in affirms and saying, "or get someone else into trouble by using their face."

Drunk Arthur not quid done making fun of Merlin ask him mockingly, "How was it being a girl?" Merlin decided to make light of his friend teasing by answering him with the truth, "Well Arthur I felled the someway when I was an old man sore and tire of trying to dragging around an whinny prat so it could seem like he was the hero who saved the kingdom ones again."

Arthur pouted in his way of telling Merlin that he does not approve of his mocker of him and Merlin simple chuckling back. Gwen don't list to the rest of tease battle because there was a thought growing in Gwen head and it refused to be dismiss from her mind, a crazy thought but one that could solve her problems. She calmly ask Merlin another question but that will be key to completing her crazy idea, "couldn't you just turn yourself into a young girl instant of an old woman?"

Merlin shrugged his shoulder looking a little bit sleepiest and said, "I don't want even chance of being recognize so I figure we all look different when we are older and that way it was a better use of the spell so I could get away with my plan."

"So you could have make yourself into a real young girl." She said and Merlin nodded to affirm, he looked a little confused on why she questioning him so much about him changing his gender but was quickly distracted when one of the other knights pull him into another conservation.

Gwen just kept looking at Merlin seeing him as a girl that she envision earlier then the man sitting next to her. Technically if what Merlin was says is truth he may be able to make a child like any other normal girl his age.

Merlin would make a perfect mother with his kindness that shines through even at the darkest of time, he a great leader as show when he bring back magic using peaceful displays to show magic is not evil and rules so none could misuse it again. Then there Merlin dragon lord bloodline which should be pass down since Merlin is the last, even thaw there are only two dragons left in the world and it seem they wouldn't be reproduce any time soon but as least the dragon lord wouldn't became existent if they do. And being once poor himself he would want to make sure to install in his child being grateful for what he is giving, very must like when he showed Arthur how to be a better ruler when he was just a manservant. There is no question of Merlin loyalty to do the right thing for the people and if his power is inherited by the heir the magic community would be put to ease about not having another purge or being misunderstands again, after all who would most likely be the person the magic user would follow someone who was appoint the throne or their Embry child. With all that she was sure that Merlin would be a great parent to any child and she would feel better about the whole consort thing if Arthur was with someone they both knew was an friend instant of a stranger. The best part was he would give them, the kingdom and heir all she hope for the future if he was the mother.

Gwen feel relief and even a little bit excited to final have a chance of preserving their kingdom for future generations but that feeling was damping by the thought of Arthur reacting when she told him of her plans making nervous flutter in the pit of her stomach. So she decision to wait to tell him tomorrow so Arthur could enjoy celebrating today and so she can figure out how to tell them properly with as little as conflict as possible.

Now she was going to take her own advice in enjoy the rest of the feast and not worrying about a single thing till another day.

She did enjoy the rest of the night, the others not suspecting anything from her sudden change of mood and was just happy that whatever was on her mind earlier as left her so she could finally be merry with them.

As she and Arthur were going to bed that night she calmly ask so as to not hint at the blow she was going to give him, "Arthur can I talk to you tomorrow about something important." Arthur still was a little drunk from the feast so he thought nothing of it and shrug his shoulder saying," I can reschedule the tax meet tomorrow to the next day so I can have sometime in the afternoon." She smile in approval and nods her head to tell him so.

She sleep peaceful that night for the first time in weeks because she didn't fall asleep to the thoughts of names and faces swirling around her head for the first time in months. That was the first good thing at come from her plan and Gwen had a feeling at it wouldn't be the last.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey readers' thank you so much for the reviews, favorites and follows all I can say is YOU GUYS LIKE MY STORY! I am so happy that I quickly wrote down chapter 2 as fast as I could and I hope you enjoy this chapter as well.**

**I do not get money from this story and it's just for fun.**

**Warnings: Het, Slash, fem/merlin, gender bender, birth, character death, Arthur x Gwen, Arthur x Merlin.**

**Notice: I have decided to mark the parts of this story that has either lemon slash or het with a warning, so those who do not wish to read one or the other can just skip right pass it. I also will answer reviews at the bottom.**

The Will of Magic

_Gwen POV_

Gwen nervous shot back to her the moment she opened her eyes that morning and looked over to the right of her to see a beautiful dreaming Arthur, his innocent face reminded her that she will have to break his peace today. Gwen just silently slide out of bed got dress and use her duties as an excuse to avoid her husband that morning, it wasn't usual for them to leave the other to their dreams when one was busy in the morning.

The rest of the day didn't fare better for Gwen, it was like her anxiety was a stain on her mood it was obvious and ugly, she wouldn't mean to people but she was a bit short with them. Fortunately they didn't try to console her about it and left her to be, unfortunately her emotions grow as the morning light turn into noon.

After demising her maid for the day, she waited in their chambers rubbing her hands together they had gone cold even thaw the fire had already be set for her and her hands also wanted something else to do besides being stuck with thinking, if she did any more she would make herself crazed with worry. And she wasn't going to let her emotions make her back down or change her mind, she had no doubts that what she was going to proposal was the right choice and she wasn't going to let fear of what others would thought of her idea hold her back.

She hear the door suddenly bang open so she turned around to see her husband strolling in with a happy swag to his steps, she realizes it much be from not having to go to what Arthur called a completely dull meet watching a crowed of men fight like 5 year olds over the cost of wares. He smile when he saw her and gave her a warm kiss on the lips in greeting, asking mock humidly, "my lovely queen, what is the important news you needed to speak to me about by interrupting my taxes collectors."

Gwen toke a second to figure out how explaining her plan, her father once told her it was best to start at the beginning of an story so people don't get confuse as you were telling it, so she decided that she should start at why she bring him here. She toke a breath to mentally steal herself for what would surly became a fight between them and she gently told him, "Arthur it's about having an heir."

He looked taking back not expending her to be the one to corner him about this and was at a loss for words, so she toke the chance from him to start his side of the fight by continuing on, "And the kingdom needs a future leader one that only another woman can provided." She as prepare herself for the worse from Arthur the whole day and when Arthur just stood there frozen in shock, she was hugely surprise when he started not with a yell but with a quiet, "what?"

Gwen saw in his face as soon as he was done speaking the word his shocked silences turned livid, now that his mind had got around to what she was telling him but he still don't yell as he instead irritated asked, "Are you approving of that desperate plan to have me have sex with and giving my child to a consort?"

"Yes." She said simply and firmly, she wanted Arthur to know she didn't question her own acting, she wanted him to feel supportive if he accepted her idea.

But when Arthur give a slightly betray look from her answer she felled a radiating guilt inside her heart for wounding him with her words. The last thing she wanted was to be the one who must put at pain inside of him, but that couldn't stop her from thinking about their duty, the war, the blood and the painful faces of her people.

Arthur looked like he was ready to open his mouth at any minute to yell out his small amount of collected rage but before he did he glazed into her eyes and whatever his saw in them make him hesitate. He stare into the feelings displayed in her earthy eyes for a moment longer then his chest and shoulder firmed up as if he was suddenly holding something within that wisest to burst from his body. Angrily stomping to his fur cover chair and stiffly sitting down upon it, dripping his head down into his hands so he could message his head. He signed in frustrated and slowly start slumping down in defied.

He quietly spoke into his hands just enough for her to make out what he was saying, "I thought at one point I would get hunted down by my council by this topic, but I never saw my own wife doing it for them." She walk over to the other side of the table so she could sit down with him and when she was properly on the chair he looked up at her to ask, "are you doing this because of what that adviser said at that meeting?" It would be true that her plan began to form because of what the man said and she would have admit to the true of that but it would seem it was his turn to interrupt her, as he quickly continuing on before Gwen could even get the first word out of her mouth, "just because we are royalty doesn't mean we have to choice the path that is fill with torment and hatred for us, because our sacrifice doesn't always make for a better kingdom." He looked into her eyes then to trying to send the message across to her that he is supporting her in not offering up her own happiness to be slaughter for the people. For a moment her heart filled with warmth from her husband words and of how she knows he truly meant them, that her being happy was more important than some aspects of the kingdom. But the problem was she would be happy if he did as she asked, as unusual as it sounded even in her own mind.

But if he wanted to put her happiness first then what would make her over joyed would be the relived of when the buried of the future leadership is lifted off her shoulder and the kingdom secured again so she go back to being a loving queen she truly was not the paranoid person she is now, worrying that someone would turn her beautiful home into a place of cruelty once again. If Arthur wanted her to be happy then he must fix the wrong she has made because then she could go back to being herself once again.

She reach out then to grab one of Arthur big hands and looked back into his blue hopeful eyes so she could send back her own support for him. They mutually smile at one other, Arthur probably thinking that she was backing down from this fight, as she gently told him, "Arthur my happiness is to not ask for the blood of others to be spilled for me because at adviser was right in what he said is in store for Alboin."

Tears come into her eyes, coming from her imaging producing many horrible visions as this last few week's flew by but she wouldn't let the water fall down her cheeks, as she shakily continues on," I don't want that, I don't want to be the one that destroy the peace we work so hard to create even if it means I have to share you with another because I have accepted that and can live with that but what I can't live with is of my people blood on my hands." She wanted to wipe the tears away but she feared doing so would bring her more attention to her moment of weakness than she already got from her husband. Arthur rubes her hand in silence comfort and look down in thought. He set there in his own mind like one of his stone statue that stoically guards the castle until the room turned darker from the setting sun, then he finally spoke again.

"So you want me to have an affair with any woman?" Arthur asked in a neuter tone. It wasn't the most positive outcome but he was listing to her and that is what she wanted because Arthur had the bad habit of not listing to people that give him bad news but now she fear the next part of her plan will close off his ears to her for good.

Gwen wipe her face since Arthur wasn't doubting her any more but the tears had long since dried, she realizes that she was trying to stall but had nothing to do it with and there was not easy way to said it so Gwen decided to just speak through what would be hardest part for him to understand," I've decision if I have to share you with another then I will pick her, so that I will be comfortable in give you to a caring person and someone who would make the best heir possible for the throne."

His head jerked up suddenly and his anger return in more forced then before as he said, "So you just decided all this for me without a thought on maybe I don't want to have an affair!"

"Arthur it's not an affair if I give you permission to do it, it makes it a treaty that will save your kingdom and your people that we have always place first so we can take care of them!" She try tell him but he looked away from her and let go of her hand. Arthur looked like he was trying very hard to contain his anger so he wouldn't hurt her with it. So she left him alone to boil down a little for it was useless to talk to him when his mind was full with hurt and angry, pushing him enough and all he then wanted to do is deflection those emotion back onto others.

After running his hands through his golden hair a few times even tugging at it ever couple of strokes, his face turn back to her so he could look in her eyes once again to simple ask her, "why. .why do all this work just for me to bed another woman?"

"I've already told you Arthur. I love you but I need to be a good queen and the best way to do that is to have an heir with the person I have choosing."

He lean his head back into the chair and cover his eyes with his hands, hiding away from the world for a moment like a scared child using a blanket to hide away from the night.

He suddenly slump down more into his chair, Arthur almost looked like he was going to slide right off it still with his palms in his eyes growing tired from trying to fight her when she was right and when she was doing it out of her care for others, so he calmly stated, "I know the goodness of your heart Gwen, it the thing that aspire you to do the right thing under any situation and it's how I fall in love with you. But I don't think I could go through with it, having to have a child with a stranger." Arthur shook his head at his own unpleasant words.

"I.. aah.. pick someone we both know very well," she amended hesitantly.

Gwen knows how he going reaction to what she is about to said, it would go as well as being sentence to standing in the stocks on burning hot day.

Arthur look at her in confusion, he don't ask her to elaborate but waited for her to give the answer. Sitting herself up straight a mental trick she made up to make herself feel like she was steeling herself against anything like she had sudden put on armor and to show she was serious to Arthur. She revel the answer as simply, "Merlin."

The confusing on Arthur face turn into an expression that he give to people he think were not mental well or hadn't enough sleep. Arthur asked, "is there another Merlin? Because the only one I know of is a man."

"If he uses his own magic to turn himself into a woman, he wouldn't be, "she explained. Arthur don't get what she was asking him and Merlin to do at first, he wear a blank face for a while but a light of realizing come into his eyes then shock hit his system that made him suddenly stand up knocking over his chair and yell out with the most angry he had be with her since they started talking, "so you are going forced Merlin to carry my child!" His yelled growing louder with each word that come, by the time he was at the end she feared for a second that the guards would think they were in danger.

But she wasn't thinking about that anymore because when Arthur said she was going to force Merlin with child she wanted to yell out in anger back at him, because maybe they were closest friends she ever know but she was still a friend of Merlin and she would never willing want to hurt her friends. Having Arthur said that to her made the hurt burn inside her twice as bad.

Which showed when her voice came out in a hurtful angry tone when she replied, "I would never force Merlin to do anything that was against his consent and I was planning on us simply just asking him if he could be a part of this. Because he is our best opportunity to make a great leader." Arthur open his mouth to argue against her point but she stop him by angrily mutter out the listing of benefits Gwen thought of earlier, "his is kindest friend you could ever have, your bravest comrade to fight alongside you, more loyal than any other person of this court and best of all wise beyond his years all splendid traits that could be pass down to make a passionate leader. He as well could pass off his magic which would help put the magical community be at ease in accept the change of power when the heir takes over and what druid would not follow the child of Embry. That could also be a dragon lord if it's a boy so Merlin wouldn't have to be the last one. And would you have any doubts that Merlin wouldn't raise your child right?"

He blink at the sudden question after her speech and look off to the side a bit not wanted to speak his answer the one she knows is the same as hers, so she decides to state it so it could no longer be denied by his silences.

"Because I have no doubt that Merlin would raise a great future king or queen!" she said in her most firm voice, relieved wash through her body from finally speaking all the words that were contain inside of her it was like her mind was a cloth that had once be dirty with festering words that had be finally scrubbed clean again.

Although she still feared his anger would destroy her plan it didn't over power how her body feel at that moment. Whatever cause that comes from her acting now, she had done her best for the future of this kingdom for that she can hold with a little bit of pride.

"Why Merlin?" he shakily asked quietly still taking back by her earlier emotions and how Arthur was losing this fight. But she was confused for she just explained why it as to be his best friend, questioning her again wouldn't change the outcome of the words. He then looks up at her to see her face because she didn't answer him right away, understanding the problem he asked again but with now his reform question, " We have an entry country to look through, Merlin isn't the only one who has magic and also great personality. Merlin can easily pass down the dragon lord powers to his own child's that not from me when he marries someday. And his not the only one who we know personally, so why does it have to be him?"

She folded her hands together and gently explains, "Because you and I don't want to bring a baby into this world with someone you don't really know nor know what intentions they may have for your child, it's a disturbing though to have let alone do. So who could we true and feel more comfortable with other then with the man who is always by your side looking out for you."

Arthur had many changing emotion flicker on his face fear, anger, and understand were some of the few. Still standing he turned his back to her, then he nearly run out of their chambers, she don't try to stop him she knows he must be feeling overwhelm by all that she had giving him today and so she don't what to push him anymore. Gwen had said all she could the next part would have to be decided by them, all she could do now was wait for the answers to come. Beside she knows where he was going anyways, to the only other person that was not his wife that he felled safe to fully be himself and could get wise advice from.

But she wonder if Arthur was going to tell Merlin the whole true.

_Arthur POV_

Arthur bristly walk down the hallways of the castle not knowing where his goal rest but feeling he had to go somewhere else so he could clear the mess that his wife make in his head. He just keep walking avoid the hallways were there were many people until he ended up in a part of the castle that had almost no servants in it. He stop at a door that he just realizes was Merlin own chambers doors, he should have realizes as soon as he hit the empty halls, Merlin even with a title now believe that you should be the one to care for your own things which he did even thaw he mostly cheated through magic. Leaving the servants without reason to come to his room.

He debated if he should go in or not, Merlin usual was in his chambers on most afternoons doing work, so he don't have to worry about if anyone was going to answer his knocks.

On one hand he felled conflicted on what Gwen had plan for him making him wanted to talk about it with his best friend where he could feel relaxed and safe, on the other hand he felled overwhelm when he thought of talking about procreating with Merlin. He don't even want to think about what Merlin reaction would be.

But maybe he don't have to talk about that part, he could just said Gwen was planned to give Arthur to a consort so they could bring a child in to the world together. That sounded like a better plan than starting another argument today besides Arthur felled like he could only fight one battle at a time right now.

Steeling his nerve Arthur quickly open and shut the door, Merlin was right were Arthur know he would be at his desk working at some paperwork.

Merlin looked up at the sound of door, glazing once at Arthur tension face made him put his quill back into its holder.

Arthur routinely when to a medium size table in the center of the room that was piled half way with all kinds magical books, so Arthur could only sat down in one of the blue chair that was resting on the clear side of the wooden surface while Merlin walk over to one his cupboards and looked through it. Arthur looked around while he waited for Merlin to finish his search.

The chambers hadn't change must since the last time he adventure in them just a few more magical items here and there with small mountains of paper stack on ever writable flat surface, it almost looked like Gaius old physician chambers but the place was more clean if a little bit over cramped for room.

There are three doors one opening to Merlin personal bed chambers, the second going to what Merlin calls his indoor garden, a room that walls were make mostly of clear sparkly glass so that sunlight could come through for Merlin to grow his magical plants making it no longer a need to go on deathly mission like before to treat wounds or make the potion they needed. And Merlin reinsures Arthur when he magical build his garden on the side of the castle that his spell could make the glass be as unbreakable as Arthur stone walls, then there was the finally third door a antechamber that was now being use by Merlin as a storage room for his more unused things.

Merlin make a sudden 'ah' sound from founding what he was looking for, bring out two wooden cups and brown waterskin. He came over to his book covered table to sit down next to Arthur and poured a healthy amount of some kind of red wine into each cup, Arthur drained his wine in one gulp barely tasting the sour grape flavor of the drink and watched Merlin bring his own cup up to his lips but seeing barely any of gone when he set it back down.

"Better?" Merlin asked, Arthur shrugged his shoulder because he was just about fine enough to speak but that was as far as the drinks influences goes it was like a rope that had be nodded too tight it was now too hard to untangle it complete again but Merlin toke that as a enough of a sign to continue calmly asking, "What's the problem Arthur, the moment you walk in your face looked like time you get knock off your horse by one of your knights when your were jousting?"

Arthur signed, he didn't doubt that he looked like he just been meet with something that he couldn't believe and felled more down beside of it. He gesture to the wine bag to get another shot of the relaxing neuter and Merlin compiled to his silence demand but gave him a lot less then the first time. Arthur easily drunk down his measly offering and hoarsely stated, "Gwen as asked me to bed another so that the kingdom can have an heir."

Merlin just sit there with a blank look on his face. Arthur nod his head in agreement on Merlin reaction and said, "I felled the same!"

Still quid shock from his statement Merlin just mutter what came into his head, "She must be very worry about the security of the kingdom then."

"Merlin there always a threat to the kingdom having an heir wouldn't change that and she knows it. So why would she want me to do this?" he questioned angry again, Arthur felled like he need more wine then and send a look at the wine bag to show Merlin that he need more of the siren drink but Merlin instead grab the cups and bag to put it on the his far side so it was out of Arthur wanting reach.

Merlin then puts a comforting hand on his shoulder and turned him making Arthur look into his sky blue eyes to see his sincerity of his message when he said, "Because she loves you and Alboin, love makes us want to do ever thing we can for our precious ones even when it mean we hurt them to do the right thing for them."

Arthur knows that Gwen was just trying to do her best by him but he wishes sometimes that their love wasn't complexity by taking care of the kingdom. He refuse to be like his father thinking that the wellbeing of your duties drops when your own happiness increase and that having both was an impossible achievement. The irony being he proved the last king wrong but both of his most prideful accomplishment seem to agree that he needs to have an affair like his father did for the betterment of ever one. But Arthur wasn't sure if it was really the right way or the only way to go about it, what Gwen said was logical true but his duty and his emotions keep conflict with each other making a mist of confused on what path his should walk.

"What do I do Merlin?" Arthur quietly ask the one question that will change his world and one Merlin would hopeful have the answer to, that Arthur could not grasps.

"You need to do what you think is right by yourself Arthur, because they may be right but it is you who will have to live with your acting. If you don't think about it carefully you may come to regret having your child bring hatred into your and your kid life. And nobody should live like that, "Merlin advice gently.

This moment felled familiarly like when he asked Merlin if he should marry without love. How Arthur felled from the flow of Merlin words just this great sense of wisdom and care for his wellbeing, whenever one else had already decided for Arthur nor did they care to change it for his feelings.

Arthur then wonder if this is what Gwen saw in Merlin when she choice him to carry his child because he was starting to see it too.

It wasn't like Arthur isn't a little disturbed at the thought of having to do something as intimate as bedding Merlin so they could raise a child and also having Gwen know about it. But his mind was starting to become clearer and that was helping him to come to a making a choice.

But now the question is could he live with it? Having a child that was not from his wife or did he even want a child? Arthur never really thought about it he just assume one would came along with time in his marriage.

Arthur then started to try to imaging a toddler with blue eyes and wisps of black hair. Of it crying late into the night, then of it learning to move around with it curious nature and having it get into ever thing or all its digesting body fluids that drain from its small frame. A baby will do all that or more but the emotion he would feel when his child called him daddy from the first time, how prideful he would be when he toke his first steps to try to walk into Arthurs arms, teaching him how to fight would be amazing feeling and of course there would be hunting trips to enjoy together. But do this experiences out weight the guilty feeling he had for not having a child with his wife?

Will he at the end of Gwen plan be a good parent for his child or would he be like his own father? His father who was always distancing himself from his son with fake obstacle like making him think it showed weakness and only showing his true love for his child when Arthur couldn't really see it. But Arthur wasn't his father, he had surly proving that by with all that his done and change over the time of his reign.

So why would he follow the example of Uther in parenthood as well, he wouldn't not with his own offspring or any other child. And yes, Arthur thought child raising would be hard but he thinks he would enjoy caring for a mini him or Merlin.

He decided that he did want a child, the joys of having one overweight the unpleasant things children products or the weirder problem of bedding his best friend and since his wife planned the whole thing Arthur would get over the guilt one day.

But this sudden urge to be a father made his mind be cleanse and had him realized that its wasn't a bad deal after all with the thought that Merlin would be by his side with him to help.

Because he knew Merlin would be a good parent, he knows that from years of Merlin always standing by his side teaching him how to be a great king and a better person, making him one day have an understanding of the common people. The man who help him with all kinds of problems and stood beside him through all dangers, even when he hurt Merlin he didn't doubt that he would be there at work the next day still trying to support him.

He wanted that for his child as well, someone to show him he can take the reins of the kingdom in its own hand without fear he was going to do wrong by Alboin but still gang his own happiness. The things Uther was disinterest with and the other tutors he appointed to teach Arthur were always in fear that they would cross a line with him.

Gwen plan was the best way to go about things but the problem was now how would Merlin take it. He wasn't going to forced Merlin in any way, so if he refuse Arthur really didn't know what he was going to do then, he didn't wanted to think about the other solutions his council or Gwen would come up with.

He look at Merlin who still had a comforting hand on his shoulder and was still glazing connectively into his eyes, Merlin must of saw something good change in them because he lean back on his chair and asked, "Do you still need to talk about it Arthur?"

Arthur simple nodded his head, he did needed to talk about the full plan with Merlin but a small fearful side of Arthur didn't know how to begin nor did it even want to speak at all. Because Merlin as done many things for them in the paste but this would be beyond any weird things he had ever done before.

Arthur decided that he just needed do it, just to take that fearful side of him and push it in a dark corner where it wouldn't be seen like he done with it all those other times it as show it head because there was no tactful or easy way to say this to Merlin. So Arthur suck in a breath and said, "Gwen has choosing the consort that she wants to bare the child."

"That us..ual," Merlin said with a slightly confused face and looked like he was going to said more but Arthur cut him off wanted to get it all out quickly. "Gwen just wanted to found the perfect person to make a great heir for the kingdom and that would also be a good parent along with me. But unfortunately her choosing was not the most uncanny part about it, it's who she pick, "Arthur said reluctantly.

"Who?" Merlin asked innocently, Arthur turn his chair to face fully at Merlin so when he told him Merlin would see how serious he was and show this is not a sick joke being play on him. If Arthur heard this plan for anyone else but Gwen he would think the same way and their group were knew to playing tricks on one another. So with the most firm but gentle tone he could get Arthur said, "It's you."

He had no reaction to what Arthur had just said it was like the words were taking its time to reach his mind and this continue to lastly for many minutes until Arthur started to worry that his words had instead broken Merlin head somehow but then Merlin asked in a unemotional voice with still no facial change, "But I'm a man."

"Yes but you can fix that using your magic", Arthur answer simply.

Even then Merlin didn't move. Arthur thinks the problem is that Merlin knows he could fix their problem with magic, being that it was a very powerfully deep part of him but this is why Arthur was so worry about Gwen forcing Merlin to go along with her idea. Because yes Arthur would have to do something against his morals and with his friend at that, but he wouldn't have to turn himself in a foreign female body nor carry a baby within that body and then go through the pains of labor. Things he probably thought he never have to experience because of his gender. It was painfully obvious that there was more on his plate than on Arthur and none of it was going to be easy for him to accept nor do.

"You don't have to choose to do it Merlin and you'll of course have all the time you need to come to a decision", Arthur try to reinsures Merlin but it didn't awaking him from his coma so Arthur thought of telling him the facts Gwen lecher him on earlier then maybe he get some kind of respond.

"You can pass on you dragon lord powers or even you're magic and we can teach the child how to be a great ruler so there wouldn't be any need to worry about the security of the kingdom, "Arthur stating but ended up miserably fumblingly the words trying to get Merlin the motiving to move again.

Nothing not even a blink of the eye, maybe if Arthur roughly shook him it would be like awaking him from a sleep then Arthur can finally get something about where Merlin was in all this. Arthur barely touched him on one of his thin shoulder before Merlin suddenly flinch back from him as if his fingers was going to violated him somehow and stared at him with wide eyes waited for Arthur next move. Arthur holds his hands up like his trying to calm a spooky horse that may kick him if he got reckless, so he tried calming Merlin the same way by saying in a slow gentle voice, "Merlin you don't have to do it if you don't want to, we're just asking you to think about it for a while, ok?"

It didn't work as well as Arthur hoped in settling him down, he wasn't looking scared at Arthur anymore but there was this presences of panic about him not at Arthur but from something else that was making him start to massage his head in pain as he stared somewhere off to the side. "So you going along with her plan then, "Merlin spoke anxiety.

"Mer. ." Arthur begin to say but Merlin stop him by asking hoarsely, "Can you leave, please?"

Arthur felled guilty for putting him in this position, for all their years together and all the danger they faced Merlin has never asked for Arthur to leave his side, so for him to do so now would mean he truly needed to be alone. Arthur don't fight him or argue he simply just left, hoping by tomorrow he wouldn't regret what his done.

_**Loulou2a:**_ Thank you for thinking my story is interesting. I am a fan of both of Merlin genders, so I hoped that both sides would come to like this story so thanks for being the first to admit to checking it out. I love their relationship too so I wanted a story to focus more on that then the gender on a character, even thaw it is important too, so I chose to write one. Now you have his reaction I hoped you liked it, but you'll have to keep reading of you want Merlin response.

_**LadyFromPoland:**_ Thank you for saying my ideas is great and hope you enjoy the second chapter just as must as the first.

_**Luke Knight:**_ Poor king Arthur didn't know what was coming to him!

_**Wilhelm Wigworthy: **_Thank you for reviewing and it really makes my day that someone thinks my story style is unique.

_**kweandee:**_ Thank you!


	3. Chapter 3

**Yeah readers. I am so sorry that it take so long to get this chapter out, my computer been having some problems that I had to get fix, so I couldn't write and hopefully the next chapter wouldn't take so long to get out but thanks for all you guys comments, favorites, follows. Can't wait to see how you reaction this chapter. Now some of you guys has pointed out to me that I have some spelling problems and I am sorry for those. I don't have a beta, so I trying my best to edits this myself and if you see me make any mistake don't hesitate to tell me, just don't be rude about it and I will listen. Hope you enjoy.**

**I don't get money from this story, it's only for fun.**

**Warnings: Het, slash, birth, character death, Merthur, Arthur x Gwen, fem/Merlin, gender bender.**

The Will of Magic

_Merlin POV_

Of all the things he has done and sacrifice for the sake of Arthur to bring about the golden age of Alboin. Never has he be asked to give something so personal as his own flash and blood so that it could be prompt on the throne.

From the moment he stepped on the soil of Camelot he has done what the great dragon, destiny and even his friends has asked of him, without question nor fight. Even when his only reward was being seen as 'just the servant' an idiot of no importance to anyone around him. Forced to fulfill a destiny while still trying to keep who he was intact.

He was so use to doing everything in his power that he could so that the right pathway to peace would be revel, but this wouldn't be only about making other peoples life better it will also be about how this will affect his live.

Merlin didn't know if he should blamed this on destiny or on his bad luck of not staying out of trouble but this surly will became a problem. Because even as magic has been accepted back that wouldn't mean that people wouldn't look at his kid as if it is unnatural being that shouldn't have be born, a point of view from others that will bring down trouble for the heir for its whole life.

Merlin wasn't sure he could put a child through should trauma like that especial his own. But if it was destiny that was making this happen, then did he even have a choice?

Everything run too smoothly together on connecting him and Arthur in this situation that Merlin wonder if his fated path that he was forced to walk down on wasn't complete finish yet. Merlin was always panicked about their future because their destiny said that they would bring about Albion golden years and that Arthur will die by Mordred hand. His friend didn't meet death and this country has its golden years. So Merlin wonder how much is fate still playing with them and will there be punish for changing the end of their destiny, after all he has suffer by the hand of fate for disobeying its words before.

Merlin doesn't know how to get the answer to that, all he did know was that Gwen was right the kingdom needed an heir. Logically thinking one that both Camelot and Merlin could benefit from, if Merlin was selfish enough that he would bring a child into this world for the sake of politics. Because politics was the reason that Gwen, Arthur and Alboin wanted to have an heir, not because they wanted a cute little person to love. Merlin likes babies but this sounded too much like a chess move on the game of power they play, rather then a person liking to become a parent.

All this conflict between his reasoning, logical and emotion was spinning question around his mind. What should he do? What could he do? What is the right choice? Merlin felt like he couldn't get through a complete thought before something contrast it and leaving him no answer. Merlin decided he needs a break he felt like his brain was going to make itself insane with all this jumpy thinking and emotional trauma.

Merlin stood up and head to his indoor garden a place that wasn't only functional through growing herbs but was a room that he could go into to just think and relaxes when he didn't what to see anybody, just the calmest of quiet nature just seem to uncoil Merlin. But when he open the door his mind still processing his question, jumped to how a child would love playing around the different plants that grow almost like a jungle being that those green lives forms come from all over the different parts of the country so they grow a bit unorganized and Merlin didn't exclude trees or bushes that had great magical properties for his collecting, so the place sorely looked wild.

He turn back around to escape his chambers and going through the castle hallways that were mostly unused to entering into the town. Maybe doing some shopping or talk to people that weren't part of the council maybe would be enough of a distraction for him to get a moment for his mind to rest.

He goes by his favorite stull a magic book shop, whose owner name was Adam a middle age man with a friendly personality and whose body grow as tall as two men, they known each other very well over the years because Adam always keeps his shop filled with the newest of books and Merlin was always there to buy up the next magical discovery. That routine has gave them many thrilling conversion on the mutual topic of spells which lead them to a make shift friendship that was good for debates and a happy place to buy from.

Founding the place Merlin looks up at the one room fine wooden building with clean selves of books stocked neatly together by Adam categorizing them in what matter is writing inside them and a long table resting in the back where Adams sits watching his stuff. He goes into the nice book shop, looks through all the new wares to find an interesting novel on life spells and then goes to have a short talk with Adam.

Through the whole trip he was reminded that his choice of parenthood did not only affect him weaving new questions into his already confused brain, only by Merlin ability of hiding his emotions was he able to keep composed through the visit. But the questions wouldn't disappear from him.

What would others think about this? Would this book help him in some way? Is Adam as worry about the kingdom future as Gwen is? And this continue with everyone he met until he ended up just walking pass people with his eyes down till he saw the view of people feet decrease to none, there was only one place Merlin could think that was in walking distant that had very few people in it, the forest.

Merlin looked up, ready to feel his body go limp from the clean fresh breeze that flowing around him or the simply quietest of the place that was never fully achieved when you life in the castle or just the beauty of the living green forest would calm his nervous. But instead the moment he looked up he spotted a deer that was alertly staring at him from 20 feet away, he thought suddenly if Arthur was here he would have loved to hunted that deer leading him to wonder if Arthur child would be as great a hunter as its father is and he can just imagine how prideful of that moment Arthur would be.

That thought ruin any chance of Merlin to calm down and so defended he sat down in the dirt were he stood putting his head in his hands trying to think of a way to escape all this so his mind would be free for a little bit, he wouldn't be able to think straight other was.

There had to be a place for Merlin that doesn't remind him of Gwen idea at every site, it obviously couldn't be Camelot anymore, but there wasn't a lot of other choices to have because there was memories all over Alboin from battling or allying with every piece of land of this country. No, Merlin would just have to settle with search for an area where he could feel safe, distended from this situation and where he could get some most need advice.

He would normally think of Gaius first, because he was so wise in multiple things but he was too connected to Arthur. Gaius thought of Merlin as his adopted son but he also looked after Arthur since born and he don't want advice that as be inflection from the needs of the king and his kingdom, he was already getting enough of that from the others. Besides Gaius lived close to the castle and Merlin wanted to be at least out of the city limits.

Then he thinks of his mother, she still lives in the same place where Merlin was born, just not in the same home because when Merlin was giving the title court sorcerer one of the first things he changed beside laws on magic was rebuilding Hunith home so she would live out a more comforter life. When the druids ears got wind of who his mother is many resettle themselves in his old village so that they could be as close to their Embry without living in the city, even with him in Camelot a lot of druids still like to life out their days closer to nature then have the convenient of the capital.

When the bane on magic was destroyed people who children had the gift of magic would send them or live with the druids so that they could be shown how to control themselves. So when parents can't handle their children magical outburst and when the druids where over packed, Merlin mother decide to use all her space and make a sort of shelter for magical baring children.

It wasn't the most ideal place to be to figuring things out, what with how the druids would love there to be magic flowing through the royal line and Embry offspring in one go, plus Merlin feared that the children would remind him of the offer. But maybe helping out with the care for them would solve the problem of distancing him from the situation.

Surprisingly his friends hadn't come back to his born place since that one time that they went to go save it from the bandits, so there wasn't a lot of memories of the group resting there and Merlin can easily get sound unbiased advice from his mother. It would be better than sitting there in Camelot in the dirt.

A choice made Merlin stood up and quickly walk back to the castle to packet for his must needed trip.

He make sure to packet discretely as so no one would accidently alarmed the royals so they could stop him.

So he packed enough supplies for a two day trip. Merlin then wrote down instructing for his own adviser, that they must take care of the kingdom as he was going to be absence in an unknown amount of days. He then grabs a small chest from it resting place besides his desk and pulls out from it palm sizes stone birds statues. Placing a quick spell on the little figures they suddenly each started moving, rotating their limps around and flapping their now white wings in experiment, then they flutter out the window that Merlin had open for them. This was a spell that his research group made so that the massagers where design to avoid dangers that could get in the way of the letter getting to its location and the instinct to fly to the person that the letter was signed to, better than any normal bird massager Merlin thought.

Merlin was contacting his three main adviser that are the head of his magical council the first being research, after Uther burn all the books of the old religion Merlin found it important restore the information that had be destroy and making new spells so that they could improve the kingdom. Then there his caster patrol, guards and knights who are trained in spells and that will at least sent one caster to go with every group guard that was protecting the welling being of Albion as well as hunting down the magical wanted, so if their defending against a magic user then they would have someone that could stand against that. And finally investigation, people who use their powers to found out the true of a situation rather then going off the word of a person.

Merlin feel bad for a moment of ordering more responsibly on them but then he thought of the choice that would change Merlin life and made a change in the game of power for magic, he thought they would understand his absence.

Everything ready to go he prepared his method of travel. Merlin goes to his garden to pick the herbs, Joan a druid raise girl who is his assistant would take care of his garden as she has always done when he was absence, tearing out acacia a puffy yellow flower from the branch of its tree, three leafs of balm of gilead, a whole stem of basil and he then returns to his fire pit to throw them in a small iron pot with a splash of water to boil down.

As the room filled with smells of strange herbs he goes over to his packed stuff and command his magic to decrease the size of the bags until they were smaller than the balm of his hand. Then taking a strong thread and weaving it through the handles of the bags then tied it off to make a loop, leaving it on the top of the table.

Checking his pot he sees that the water has turned into a misty green color from absorbing the plants, taking a spoon his pokes at the ingredients bubble in the pot then seeing that they have soften enough he mush them into a chucky paste and then adds a sea weed called bladderwrack to be boil in with the paste for a while longer. With that going he steps away from the pot and grabs some more dry ingredients from his cupboard. Taking a jar of saffron and dried flowers petals from yucca to put them into a mortar to grind them into fine grainy powder with the pestle. Once done he dusted the powder into the potion and then finally picks out the now useless bladderwrack sea weed from the black pot with a spoon. Merlin takes a medium sizes vial from out of one of his cupboards and spills the now dirty green potion into the container.

His potion complete Merlin shallow it down and quickly say the words that would begin his transforming, a similar spell he may have to do in the future. His whole body even his clothes started springing white and brown feathers randomly, except for his back which just grow brown ones, he bone shrink into a smaller lighter shape. His lips yellowed then spread out into a point and then harded to tear his meal into pieces, his feet grow thin and long with sharped claws at the end to catch his prey. His arm turn into wings and he move them around like his statue earlier did to get the handle on using them.

He has made himself into a Merlin hawk one of his most favorite forms, for obvious reason, to take when he has to travel long distances alone. Merlin founds that birds can fly faster distances then a horse without needed to stopping for days. And this form had saved him a few times when his presence was dangerously needed in another area of Albion.

Merlin hops over to his bags and easily slides through the circle of tread that he made so he could carry his stuff and flops out the open window which he had unlocked earlier. Beating his wings hard to get higher up into the blue sky, he finds that patch of air that will let you glade for days without needed much assistants. With the air rushing through his feather and pushing up on his wings, Merlin set himself to the path for his second home.

Two days later

Once he finally sets down on the soil of his village he final felt some sense of relief of just being back to his childhood home. Luckily for him he had figure out a way to return back to his original body without using another potion, by just using raw magic and mentally focuses on return to his old self. But first he pulls the string with his bags off of him with his yellow beak, because they wouldn't grow along with his body. He then closes his round eyes mentally viewed himself with snow white skin, skinny limbs, night black hair, young male with his clothes on and he starts to feel his magic changed his form to fit the picture.

When he looked down at his body he found it to be accurately the same and picks up the mini bags. Untangling the tread and release the bags on to the balm of his hand, he magical wills them back to normal sizes. Then lifts them on his shoulder.

Even with him flying for two days he still has getting here fast enough to where there is still just an enough of a slit of sunlight in the sky to see the area.

Spotting the house he was looking for he walks over to what is now the biggest wooden home in Ealdor and knocks firmly on the door. She was usual at home by this time been that it was so late but Hunith house was a place with contented children that needed to be taking care of and sometimes Merlin visit would start with him standing outside the door for a long period of time because she was just too busy with the kids or just don't hear his knocking.

But that seem like it wasn't going to be the same for this time because the door loudly unlock for him and there appear his mother head, peeking out to see who it was. Hunith squinted at the lack of light to see his face and once she realizes who it was she herded him into her arms to give him a nice loving squeezes as their greeting.

Merlin hears the sudden sound of giggling and he looked beyond his mother shoulder to the younglings standing on the staircase excitedly waving at him. They didn't rush at him in a happy wave of bubbly excited children trying to talk over each other in their joy of seeing him, because Hunith taught the kids it was rude to interrupt someone who was in the middle of a greeting someone else. Being like a second mother to them the kids followed what his mother had to say.

She pull him back to say, "you usually don't come in to visit this late, it's nearly the time to put the kids to sleep." Merlin knows how getting every child upstairs and tug into bed was like planning a tactfully battle plan. "I'll help you then, "Merlin stated helpfully.

Merlin expected to feel that the last thing he would want to be is around kids after what Arthur has asked of him, but he looked into their innocent faces that was so happy to see him as they always were and he didn't think about Arthur instead his mind was filled with his own happiness of seeing them once again.

Hunith smiled at him, leading him into the house where the children race at him for hugs and hellos. Merlin greeted each one with hugs, rubs on the heads and even a few tickles on some bellies.

But after that it was a blur of active of them putting the younglings to bed, making sure the kids clean their teeth and that they were comfortable with toys, blankets or drinks of water for thirst throats.

Then when all little ones were in their beds, one of the older kids asked in a hopeful voice, "Merlin will you tell us one of your story's."

Merlin turned around from exiting the out the room and said, "Aren't you guys too old to being wanting to list to one of my stories." It was true the youngest kid being 7 years old, when Merlin was that age he was more interested in playing adventure game with his friends then lying in bed trying to stay awake to listing to a someone else adventure.

"But we barely got to see you today!" the oldest try to cutely reason with him again and Merlin fall for it, he just didn't have the cold heart to refuse the kids of their story. So he give it to them, but just one Merlin had already told them about before. But one they never seem to tire of.

And why would they? It was when Gwen got kidnaped because she get mistaken for Morgana. There was a maiden to recuse, bandits to beat and even a few funny moments to tell about, like when Merlin rub rotten smelling Gaius berry on his face a part that always send the children into a helpless fit of laugher, Merlin didn't mind it seeing that it brings enjoyment to his heart that he could do this for the kids.

The tale ended with a slightly sad sign from the older kids who could keep themselves awake and a peaceful sleepily silences from the younger ones who could not, Merlin make sure to walk out as quickly as possible for children who were already playing in their dreams.

Merlin found his mother in the kitchen by the fireplace spooning some stew into a small bowl that was left over from their diner earlier. Once she fill the bowl with ever scrape of food she could get she walks over to the little kitchen table, not the table Hunith uses to feed all the kids that one Merlin built in her dining room to hold huge groups of people, then sitting the bowl down in front of the chair that was across from where she herself was sitting down on.

Merlin chuckle at the way his mother still silently tries to take care of him. He sat down and began eating his strew with his mother who was patiently glazing at him until he was complete done.

"You have always writing me ahead of your trips so I could have a bed open for you. What makes this time different?" Hunith asked politely.

He told her everything that Arthur inform him of keeping no detail out, he never felt there was ever a need for him to keep his secrets from his mother, after all she knows most of them anyways. So he let his words be free and he felt that little bit of tension he had stored in his body flow away from his shoulder relieving him but still leaving the confusion there to deal with.

She folded her hands together under her chin and stared off into her thoughts, being that his life was one big strange occasion Hunith has grown used to dealing with his unusualness and this wouldn't be any new experience for her. Merlin waited patiently for her to get her thought into order.

She looked back at him and said calmly, "Merlin do you remember what you told Arthur? That he has to live with his own acting, so he much choice for himself." Merlin nodded his head in confirms, he had a feeling on where she was going with this.

"You should take the advice that you gave out and think about if _you_ want to be the parent of this child, "His mother advised. That was one of the problems he wasn't sure if he even wanted to raise a kid right now, let alone deal with all the rest of Gwen plan.

But maybe he could save himself from some of Gwen deal. He could secretly have the child then just give it to Gwen to raise as its second parent, that would save him from the embarrassment of other people knowing what he was going to have to do with his body, the kingdom would be security ones again and the kid would have a normal life. As soon as he finish that though he saw the holes in that plan.

What if he got attach to his child? Even if he could give away his kid there will still be question of its bloodline, being that the offspring couldn't came from a women that can no longer give life and even if he could made a fake pregnancy for Gwen he looks nothing like her, so others would think that it was either adopted or that it was Arthur secret love child, both ways others would argue that the throne wasn't its birth right.

Plus the royals have rebuild Albion on the truth of their words, to lie now would made the people suspicions on what other secrets their rulers would hold back on from them.

No, that plan wouldn't work. So he couldn't keep it quieted but that still don't mean he had to raise it. After all no one has seen him as a young girl, he could pretend that he was someone else like when he was Dragoon. Then the girl who give born to the new heir and could disappear, no one outside of the royal couple needed to know not even the heir itself but Merlin contrasted himself again sudden remember what it was like without his father in his life. He assume for a long time that his dad just didn't love his mother enough to stay with her and how sadly alone he felt not knowing the other half that created him. He didn't want to do that to a child, especially not his own flesh even if that child would cause him great amount pain. His thoughts were interrupted by Hunith sudden need to speak out again.

"Arthur said you don't have to do it. But you won't listen to him, because you're my sweet child that always wants to help everyone out, "Hunith said proudly and reach over to rub his arm. Merlin wonder if he could he like her as a parent always sweet, understanding and gently firm in raising her son right.

"Do you think I would be a good parent? "Merlin asked seeking confirms in his role model.

"You are a kind person and you do so well with the little ones that I can't image you not being a good parent. But having to fully raising a child is hard even when the child is good minded the jobs itself is unthankful, nerve-racking and there will be no breaks from it. So the only way you can really know if you would be a good parent to your kid is when you already have one," Hunith said honestly.

Merlin gently slaps his head down on the table, because of frustrating in feeling of not being helped in coming to a choice. This wasn't going to be a normal pregnancy and the heir will not have a normal life, because it would be born from a naturally born boy that had turned himself into a women so the kingdom could have a future leader. With all that it will have to deal with if Merlin chose to give it life, the least he could for his maybe child is raise it out of love and to do that he has to know if his is a good parent.

"But I may have something that can prove to you what kind of parent you are, " His mother said seeing his stress, Merlin pick his head up again to look at his mother in hope and waited for her to revel her plan.

"There is a man that lives in this village who wife is sick and he as well as nursing her back to health as to also have to take care of their one year old baby girl. The druids have helped as much as they can by making a charm against illness for the baby and curing the mother but they also what her to naturally heal herself some of the way, so she needs a few days to become fully well again. But the poor father is being driving to exhaustion by taking care of the both of them and they have no family to take in the baby. So I offer my hand in help and the baby will be here by tomorrow. So why don't I give you the little girl to take care of? "His mother finish.

Shock by his good fortune he didn't respond at first, so his mother must had thought that he was coming up with a negative answer because she continued, "Its best to start out with a baby because they are the hardest to care of and not a toddler because they are a whole different story in being raise because they can understand you but it could help you determine if you can handle one. So what do you say?"

He shook his head to clear him of the shock before she thought to doubt her solution and he smile at her to give her his answer. She return it just happy that they could fix the problem for at least a few days, before the next one revel itself. But they were satisfied with just that for now.

Hunith put out the kitchen fire and they headed to sleep. His mother had her own designed room and luckily for him there was still a bed open for him to take but it was with the other young ones, usual he wrote ahead so his mother can move a bed to another room. Merlin throw a soundless spell as he comes into the room so as he open the door and tucks himself into a peaceful sleep he wouldn't wake them from theirs.

He was waken up the next day with the juggling of the bed by a small blond hair girl jumping on the side of his bed while the others ones ambushing him around giggling at his face, they must of decided this was the best way to get him up. Grinning he grabbed the girl from her midair jump and flatting her down on the bed to tickly her unmercilessly. The others decided to join in with the tickly battle and tackle on top of him to try to bring him down.

His mother found him cover with little bodies trying to wrestling him and interrupt their play fight by calling to them that breakfasted was ready to be eating. Merlin then helped in taking the boys to get themselves dress while Hunith does the same to the girls, before clothing himself.

The early meal was just plain bread and porridge that had some kind of sweet red berry mix in.

After everyone was filled up, the kids demand him to teach them a new spell. He was always happy to teach others about magic but he truly enjoy when he looked at the child's amazed faces when he did something magical and how excited they got know they could copy him.

He decided to teach them a simple spell on making a ball of light appear in their hands, so if they were stuck in a place of darkest they can see their way through to a safe place.

Merlin started his lesson by making the child's sit in a neat circle and displayed what they were going to do, then slowly preannouncing the words again that formed the spell so the kids could repeat it. The older ones release the glowing yellow ball from their balms with only a few words correction from him but the younger kids best effected was a flush of light that quickly burn out. Merlin make sure to encourage them to keep at it so they could be stronger at using the spell and not feel bad about not getting it right the first time.

Merlin was rubbing the head of a dark brown hair little boy, he was crying because the bright light pop in his face scaring him. So while Merlin was calming down the boy he heard a knock on the door, he knows who it was and what it would mean for him but he stayed with the kids until the boy had getting over his fright.

Then he ended the lesson, but told them to keep practicing at their own time and they run off outside the back door way to go play their games. Then he slowly walked into the front room and founds Hunith holding a baby cover in rag blankets with a thigh height basket full of stuff resting beside her. Hunith was cooing at the baby and his mother looked at him when she heard him stepping into the room, she nodded her head towards the little girl that was wrapped in brown blankets so he could take the baby from her arms.

This small person could change his life, for a second he was scared of that change and of taking care of this helpless little person properly. He had some experience with babies when Hunith had them and when Merlin was here to help out but usually his mother just needed him to mind the older kids so they wouldn't bother the baby, only when Hunith was too busy with chores around the house did he get to watch the child, but he has never been the main caregiver for a baby before.

Of course he trusted his mother to tell him how to do something if he was clueless so the little girl wouldn't be miserable, but that don't defeat the fear. But he needs to do this, not only for the kingdom, Gwen and Arthur but for most importantly himself.

He steps over to them and takes the girl into his arms. She was very light in weight but wasn't unhealthily thin with wisp of light brown hair on the top of her head and pretty green eyes looking back at him surrounded in a cutie chubby face. Merlin thought he got quit a cutie baby to look after.

"What her name?" Merlin asked. "Cass."

_**Info: If you go to google to type in magical herbs you get websites on which herbs is mean to do what magical and you guy can see why I pick those plants to make the potion or use it for your own stories. I chose the name Cass because I found out that it was use in the middle ages.**_

_**Loulou2a:**_ I'm glad you like the second chapter. Yeah Merlin will have to do a lot to make his child and the choice of having one won't come easy. I agree that Merlin would try to do anything to help his friends out but that doesn't make it any easier to do. You'll have to wait and see how their lemon goes.

_**shelisa68: **_Thank you for liking my story and here your update, hope you like it.

_**FanfictionHopper: **_I kind of write that part to be taking as either funny or serious and I laugh when I thought it up so I'm right alongside you. I'm glad you like my gender bender idea.

_**ProcrastinationIsMyCrime: **_Yeah Merlin got a bomb last chapter but now he working it out.

_**Kweandee:**_ happy to hear my story interesting to you and here's your update!

_**Kyothefallenkit: **_Merlin got into a really tough position last chapter, but enjoy the update.

_**LadyFromPoland:**_ Thanks for loving my story. That what I wanted to get across in the last chapter and hope I didn't keep you waiting too long. You are right in my misspelling, so thank you for that.

_**GoldenFireFish:**_ Thanks you!

_**Luka Knight:**_ Glad you like it so most and chapter three here to quench your ach.


	4. Chapter 4

**Yeah readers, looks like I got some brains turning from last chapter which makes me very happy to hear. As always thank you for your likes, favorites, and follows, just make sure to keep it up so I know that you guys liked it I'm also using Merlin news clothes in season 4 as his main outfits and this is a link to show you what I am talking about. cultfix(dote)co(dote)uk/merlin-series-4-finale-sneak-peek-15186(dote)htm**

**Hope you enjoy. **

_**Question!?:**___**Merlin and Arthur first night together is getting closer but I don't know which POV to show it as, so I want you guys to choice which one would you want to see more. I could go either way but can't decide which, so I really need your help in this.**

**I do not own Merlin and didn't get money from this story, because it's only for fun. **

**Warning: Slash, Het, Arthur x Merlin, Gwen x Arthur, fem merlin, birth, character death, gender bender. **

**The Will of Magic**

_Merlin POV_

The first thing that Hunith showed her son was the stuff that the father had left behind with Cass. Clothes, blankets, toys and some small clear jars with pale watery mush inside that is to be her baby food. Merlin sees that the amount of jars in the basket will only lasted about two days, if the baby girl ate the usual three meals a day.

With taking stock done they decided to split the tasks at hand so that Cass could be settle in faster. With that Hunith takes the 6 jars that was sitting in the basket and goes to store them in her cold pantry so that they wouldn't go bad from the heat of the day. While Merlin toke the babe with him to sort out another room for her, just in case if she couldn't sleep through the night she could then cry her heart out without dragging the other kids from their own dreams.

There was one more room in the house that his mother usually set up with a bed for him but was used most of the time as a playroom for rainy days and also as a school house for them. So Merlin just adjusted the room to fit his needs by pushing the books, toys, small tables and chairs aside with his magic on one side of the room. Then commanded the old crib that they stored in the attic, which was still sturdy enough that it should be safe to hold a baby within it, to walk or instead slide down to where Cass's new room is. He heard a few light thumps from above their heads and a sliding sound dragging closer until it was in front of the door, where his opens it and lets it sail into the place where he wants it.

Then settling Cass in the crock of his left arm so that his right hand could be free once again, he started working on putting Cass's things around the room. Placing one of her many blankets in her new crib, then another near the center of the floor where Merlin gently shattering her few toys with a few good throw of his one free hand.

Merlin then peeked over the rim of the basket to check if he had pulled everything from it and when he looked into its darken bottom his saw what looked like a plain rag but when he pulled it into the light found that it was in fact a rag but one someone had tried to made into a female doll.

A very rough white cloth that was barely any hay stuffed within it and a blue thread sewn on it to make out where the arms and head was. With also a sewn on smiley face and a few threads of blue hair not completely coving her head. It was a simple design but when Cass turned her green eyes to it she instantly pointed her chubby hands out to show him what she wanted, up until now she had been looking around her new surrounds as she had been in his arms, as well as intensely stare at the cradle like she was waiting for it to move again. But now he watched as her small fingers tightly wrap around and then squeeze it close to her as if reuniting with someone important.

Merlin take another look at her other toys that she didn't give a second glance at as he throw them around the space or give any motion of wanting them. Most of them where made of wood, the basic balls and cubes with different swirling design on them that almost anyone could probably pay from a merchant. But there was also one other female doll but it was made of the metal lead something also easily mass produced by someone else and cheap to pay. Making it so that the only time a common child got a cloth doll was when the mother toke the time out of her day to make it for them, as most cloth dolls that where sold by merchant were usual for the well rich. This doll was the most undecorated and unwell made doll Merlin had ever seen but Cass loved it any ways. He wonder if she could feel her mother love through that piece of cloth and that was why she cling to it so.

Merlin looked down at the little girl that was now waving her favorite toy around and gently stated, "you and your mother must love each other very dearly." She make a small sound, unknowingly agreeing with him, but it still melted his heart with joy to hear the respond from her.

As he was feeling that moment the door soundlessly opened behind him and he almost jumped where he stood when his mother said, "It's time for the mid-day meal, you'll have to feed her now or she going to cry soon."

Merlin didn't think it was already that time yet, but with his earlier lesson and setting up a resting place for Cass he realizes that it would really be around that time after all. He would have to make sure not to lose his hold on time again of he didn't want Cass care to be harder on him.

But for now he leaves her to play in the crib for now, knowing he has to warm up the food before he could give it to her and because he doesn't want to place a baby anywhere near a fire.

They went down into the kitchen and goes their separate ways, Merlin heading to the pantry to found Cass's food. To see that Hunith has stacked them right in the center of one of her shelve so that he could found them easily. Merlin wonder which one to pick for the baby, they were all the some color mush that as taking after murky lake water. Being that the ingredients were made from different grains like wheat or oats that has be grounded into power then mixed with whatever liquids they had around, making it look and probably taste undesirable. He guess he has no choice but to just have a pick at one and hoped that she will gulp it down for him.

He walked out of the storage room to see his mother cutting a loft bread into small square pieces at the table, but doesn't look on for too long and instead grabs a small black iron pan that was hanging over the fireplace. There was a huge cauldron hanging in the center of the fireplace taking up most of the flames, Merlin could hear something bubbling within it, but that was fine seeing as he just needed a small corner of the heat to warm up her food.

He tipped the jar of food in to the black pan, then placing it as far as he could into the fiery logs and swatted there waiting until he thoughts the food has absorb enough of the heat. As he was waiting he saw his Mother appear beside him from the corner of his vision, turning a spoon in whatever soup she was cooking in the pot so that it doesn't get burnet on the bottom. He quickly turns his focus back on to his task so that his doesn't get burn neither but then he was distracted again with a slurping sound coming from her and realized that she must be having a tasted of her work.

She suddenly asked next to him, "want a taste." Merlin shook his head in the negative, worried if he looked away from the pan long enough it would leave the mush vulnerable to be burned and after years of her cooking he knows she was going to make the best meal out of whatever she had.

Hunith didn't mind, she just continued now by setting the finish meal on to the table in bowls. There was no need for her to call the kids inside they are smart enough to tell what time to come home for a meal and they also knew not to miss it either or they would get one of his mother lesson on manners, for the few times he seen that happen it always left their faces in a painfully bored expression.

While he was thinking Merlin makes sure to mix the pale mush around with his magic a few times and then checks on the heat of it with a poke of his finger. It was hot enough to where a few good blows would make it warmth safe for the babe without her hurting her mouth. So taking a bowl for off the small table he spills the food it into the wooden half circle.

He lets Hunith hand take the bowl from him so that she could set it out with the others and he quickly goes to get Cass to her meal.

As he goes up the stairs he hears the kids are right on time and as they run through the house they called their hello to him. Merlin yells out his own hello back when he suddenly hears the loud cry of a baby and he rush his steps up the stairs to take care of it.

Standing by the side of her bed he see Cass griming face crying out for him while she raise her limbs toward him. He compline with her silence demand, picking up her little body and shushes her like he seen his mother do many times. She quieted down to just a few hiccups and whimpers then he sticks his hand into the bottom layer of the blankets that cover her body near her little legs, just to make sure she wasn't sitting in dirty wet blankets before he brings her down stairs. It still felt dry, so her crying must have come from either the noise they made or her being hungry. Then Cass finally settle to being calm because she was distracted by his red coat and his blue bandana, pulling at the cloth on his neck to just feel the nice material it was made out of, seemed to greatly entertain her.

With her amused, he walks to the door but realized before he touching the knob that in her moment of upset she had left her favorite toy in her cradle when he pick her up in his arms. He decided to leave it resting in the bed, not wanted it to be used as a shield for her mouth when he is feeding her, he has see many battle between Hunith and the babies that played out just like that to not be wary.

So he continued on to carefully walks down the steps to the first floor with the baby firmly wrapped up in his arms. Then goes into the dining room to see everybody already sitting at the table, eating and talking to one another with an excited energy. The last chair was open for him with both his and Cass food sitting in front of it. So balancing Cass butt on his leg but making sure she was leaning back on his chest and also that he has an arm wrapped around her, so that she doesn't fall over from his lap. Because he knows the one year old didn't have a very good stability for sitting up and walking but knows she was old enough to do so. That doesn't mean that Merlin was going to trust her balancing skills in not accidently getting herself hurt.

Now that he thought she was secured Merlin decided to try to feed Cass before himself, just in case she was crying out earlier from an empty stomach after all. He takes a small bit of the pale mushy baby food and carefully spooning it in between her little lips, after blowing on it. Merlin probably should have made her practice her own eating skills but was sure that she would make a mess if he let her try to do it herself and besides he didn't want the mess that he would have to clean up while he trying to get a handle on caring for her.

He gets a few more spoons full into her stomach before Cass decided she was finish and turned her head away from the food with a displeased whine at being fed more then what she wanted. But Merlin tried to keep her eating even with her swirling her face a way to avoid the spoon with her whiny at him to tell him of her unhappiness. Merlin felt bad in forcing her but barely any of her food as left her bowel, he wasn't sure if he should be worry about her not being hungry and he didn't want her parents to experience the nightmare of having their baby return to them unwell.

But after many minutes of her fighting him he drops the spoon back in her bowl in defend, deciding that he was going to give her a break from the food for now and picks up his cup of water to bring it close to her to see if Cass would want a drink instead. Cass green eyes light up in recognition as she puts up her arms for the cup to be hand to her. He brings it closer to her mouth then she tips the top over to get a drink herself. After a few gulps she leans back in his chest in content.

With her done he takes his own drink of the water and eats his stewed to satisfy his hungry. His mother has made a stew capon that had chicken, raisins, dates, prunes, onions and the plain bread that he saw her cut up earlier with many different herbs swimming around within it. Merlin enjoyed the sweet and savory flavor that sat on the top of his tongue and the warm feeling that sept into his belly to spread to the rest of his body from the heat of the stew. As Merlin sat there with the taste on his tongue he thinks he would understand why Cass wouldn't want to eat too much of that grainy plain tasting food when it sat right next to this yummy food to be compare too in flavor and in looks.

"Look Merlin I've finally got the spell right, "Merlin thoughts were interrupted by the voice of a young boy. It was a brown hair kid sitting at his right that was about seven years old and one of the younger kids that couldn't get a handle on the light spell that morning. Now with a proud smile he thrust his arm out in front of Merlin and a sudden soft round light appear to float above the balm of his hand. Cass stared at the light in amazement and reach out with one of her finger to carefully poke at it, what would be in her eyes, a beautiful mysteries thing.

Merlin lightly chuckle as her hand run through the light, but she stubbornly kept trying to grab it as if it will solidify any moment and when it happen she could take it for herself. But the boy magic run out quickly and the light vanish with a blink of the eye. Cass turned her head around to found were it had went, so she could probably try to catch it once again.

With her searching Merlin finish off his soup with a satisfied sign, so when she realizes that the light wasn't going to return in to her reach. She turned back to him to found a spoon full of food in her face again.

She didn't take that to well, so he spent the rest of the noon meal trying to put a spoon in her mouth until everyone else was done with their own soups and Hunith then gave him mercy by telling him that if she wouldn't eat now then she will probably eat later on. Merlin listing to her advice but that still didn't calm his worry, but his mother was right he couldn't sit there all day trying to force something to wasn't going to likely happen.

The kids where running out of the house just like this morning, but before they got out the door one of the older girls stop moving toward it and the theirs follow to see why she had stop from going out to play.

"Why don't you come play with us Merlin?" the sweet girl invited. Merlin though for a moment of what he should say to them, he didn't think it was a good idea to tell them about Gwen plan even with them being old enough to understand the situation. But it would result in a little bit of a too awkward conversion between them, something he was really willing to avoid.

"Um…it's my chore to watch after her this visit, "Merlin said. Hunith always made sure he had a chore to do so he could be a good example for the kids and when he thought about it, it really was his designed chore for however long Cass was going to stay with them.

He could see the children faces deflate of hope and give him a quiet, "ok." He felt kind of disappointed in himself from letting them down like that but he had to do this for himself and he'll make sure on his next visit to play with them longer then what he as.

So as the kids continue on to the outside and Hunith went to clean up the mess on the table. Merlin climbed the stair steps once again, he feels this will be some kind of new training for him, so Cass could play and work off any of her energy that she has left from this morning.

Merlin unwraps her from her blankets, seeing that she was wearing a blue child tunic, and sits her in the center of her toys that lay upon the ground. Cass looks at the wooden cubes for a while as if she was decided what to do with them but got bored with them before she even tried playing with the things and instead found that exploration the room was more interesting for her.

Merlin just sat on the floor close to her toys, thinking that she will get bored with looking at everything within the room then she'll return back to her real entertainment, watching as she carefully wobbling around on her legs slowly walking to every corner that she can get to and feeling all the things that was in her small reach. Merlin thought her curiosity was fine until Cass tried to start climb on to a chair. Luckily she wasn't tall or strong enough to lift herself over the top but Merlin was worry that her attempts will result in her falling over.

"Cass no!" Merlin said as he quickly strolls over to her and picks her up away from the chair. As soon as Merlin pull her away Cass begins loudly crying and spreading her arms out to reach for the seat.

Merlin takes her back to her other toys, picking up her lead doll to try and to distracted her from the tempting of the chair. But she just push it away from her and kept crying out for what she really wanted.

He was confused on what he should do to making her better without the chair until he suddenly thought of a better plan, one that didn't include using the doll that she disliked. So he places the heavy doll back where he got it and reaching out with his magic for her rag doll. Flying it out of the cradle and into the front of her vision. Where ones she saw the sewn smiley face she stared at it in shock as Merlin swirled it around the air like it had came alive and decided it wanted to dance beautiful for her. The cloth girl jumps, hops, spins and swirled around in a lively dance that he once saw in a festival in Camelot and he hears Cass laughing in enjoy of the show. Deciding that she was well amused, he sits her back down on the blanket and they spend the rest of the time together watching her favorite toy dancing around her body in its happy jig until her head started drooping down in exhaustion of her excitement.

He then takes her to the bed to lay her back down flat and her doll flies into her arms. He waited until he sees that her greens eyes have vanish behind eyelids before he walked out of the room in silence.

Now that he was free he goes to found his mother outside hanging up the laundry. "Need any help? "Merlin asked helpfully since he wouldn't be busy with Cass for a while, she move her head back around to look at him. "I'm almost done with this but can you get some clean water from the well as the children will need it to wash up for dinner," Hunith answer grateful for the help.

So Merlin grabs the bucket from inside the house and was walking down the path to get into the center of the village, when he hears his mother yell out to him from the side of the house, "and check on the kids as well!" He waves he hand to show her he got the message and continue on to his pathway.

Merlin was hoping he would see the kids on his way to the watering well but all he saw was the welcoming people of his village, mostly the druids that tried to invited him for suppler but each one was giving a polite refusal from him. As he came up on to his goal he signs as he hasn't even see a flush of kids running by.

So he quickly filled his bucket any ways and turns to the closes person he saw walking around him, a druid girl with long black braided hair wearing brown plain druid clothes. "Have you seen my mother kids?" Merlin asked, all the druids that he has met in Ealdor knew who his mother is and knows all about what she does for the magical children, some even know the children personally from teaching the kids to control their magic. So she would know most likely what he was talking about.

"No I haven't seen them lord Embry, but if you like I could get a group together to found them, "She asked politely. Not matter how hard he tried to get the druids to think it was ok to treat him as their equal they wouldn't even give a thought to it. In their words 'how can they treat the savior of magic as any common person?' So Merlin has learned over time how to mostly ignore the formal stuff when it comes to dealing with them.

"No but thank you, "he says and then walks the same journey he toke to get to the well. He asked a few other people along the way just in case anyone else might have saw them but none gave him the answer he wanted. So the only other place Merlin could think of that the kids can get to without anyone seeing them was the forest circling Ealdor. He drops the now heavy bucket inside the kitchen because he thought dragging the extra weight around into the forest while he was looking for the energizing bugs wouldn't be a good idea.

Then enters into the alive greenery knowing where they most likely be playing at. A hollow steam where he founds the kids most of the time, playing in or around the slow flowing waters with had a huge green tree that had grown hanging over the water.

But when he got to the spot he saw something he hoped to never to see again. A daring game the kids are played, a challenge to see who would be the bravest of them all in climbing the highest of the trees branches as well as the farthest out over the stream. Merlin knows this game well because he played it himself, when he was young, until another kid trying to prove himself to the others had climbed out on a stick that couldn't support his weight.

He still clearly envision that day, of how he felt excitement of playing with danger and the happiness of laugh with the others as they sit in the breezy branches until all that was destroy when he heard a break and saw a small body fly pass him down to the water. Merlin could have save his friend that moment but his mother voice as well as the shock of the fall itself stopped him from reaching out with his magic. There had be no chance of that boy surviving the hit at the bottom. So the kids of the past never dared played that game again and Merlin made sure to warn these kids of the present to not do the same. As Merlin stands horrified at the scene he wonder why they would do this to him and to themselves.

But quickly forgetting the thought he rushes over as he yelled out, "Everyone out of the tree, NOW!" The children looked down at him in surprise because they have never heard his voice be raise other than to laugher before, well they never risk their lives before either so everyone was experiencing new things today Merlin thought.

Everyone slowly climbed down from their seats and in a few moments of him waiting most of them where almost at the base of the trunk. When Merlin hears a familiar sickening crack and sees a small blond hair girl falling head first into the stream screaming all the way down. Until he did the thing he always wanted to do since the death of the young boy and used his magic to instinctual catch her before her head even touch the water.

As she hover above the stream she started to crying from the trauma, so he gentle float her over to him trying not to make it any worse for her, it almost felt like he was moving Cass doll around again with how light and small she was. When she finally enter into his arms he signed in relive as she clinging to his coat has if she couldn't be without it and buried her teary face into his chest. He realizes than that the child that almost met her end was the same little girl that wake him up that same morning reminding him again of what they could have loss today. So as he rub her back in his trying to comfort her he made sure to check that all the other kids' feet where safely on the dirt ground.

After he calm down the child in his arms with rubs and soothing words of comfort to the point that no more tears where bubbly out of her eyes. He question the group in now growing angrier, "Why would you do this? You guys know you can die from this!" To make his point farther known to them he gesture to the traumatic little blond in his arms saying, "If I wasn't here she would have ended up at the rocky bottom of this stream!"

The kids with guilty faces and heads hang down low in their shame responded back quietly, "we thought we could catch our self with our magic like you would do."

Merlin stared at them in horrified shock, because he realizes then that this was stiltedly his fault. Every lesson he has giving them he has encourage them of their powers and how they can rely on them to help solute some of their problem. Giving them the idea that they could do more than those without magic, but he also gave them a thrilling game that in their minds non-magic user shouldn't play. This might not even be their first time risk themselves like this.

"Idiots, your magic won't be able to always save you, "Merlin said to them wisely but also so a little frustrated, but losing the motive to yell at them anymore. The kids' faces looked confused at his words, after all he had told them the complete opposite most of their lives. He then decided to tell them a story, one he has never told them before, about his own situation of when he couldn't use his great power to help him out of a problem.

"I am not very good at healing magic, "He stated. Of course the children were surprise to hear that Embry the most powerful wizard of all existed couldn't do something with magic. "When King Arthur was a prince he was hit in the back with an arrow and left to die a slow death. No matter how hard I try or how much power I use I couldn't heal his wound, "Merlin said, giving them one of the worse situation he has ever been in where he was completely useless.

"Your should be confident in your powers but they far from perfectly reliable, just because you can float an small object doesn't mean you have master the ability to lift anything off the ground. You still must be careful because you can still die just like everyone else in this world. "Merlin explain to them and asked to confirm their responds, "Do you guys understand what I am saying?"

They all simply nodded their heads 'yes' and Merlin escorts them back to the house, as well as carry the girl, to his mother where he told her of their crime. Scared at what they had done she unlace a whole new lecture for them to hear and a punishment of double the chores they had, but in their credit they did take it all with heads bowed in acceptations of the judgment.

While Hunith was talking Merlin hears the sound of a familiar baby cry above the sound of her voice and left his mother alone to deal with the little ones. He found that Cass had finally wet her blanket and he now knows that she doesn't hesitation to tell others that she doesn't like it so. But Merlin fixed it as fast as possible for her, also because he remember his mother telling him once that if a baby is left in its waste for too long it was going got a very uncomfortable rash. With a wipe of a rag to clean her and some fresh blankets from the basket, she was good again.

As she settling inside her new dry blankets she send him a cute smile his way, he responded back the same but it didn't feel real. Even with how cute she was he couldn't get what happened with the other kids out of his mind and how one day when Cass was old enough to seek out adventure for herself, how trouble will come all with her journey. Now that he was really thinking about it he suppose that every child had to meet trouble at one point, so that they can learn more about the world and how to survive in it. But I wasn't just Cass or the children that he was worry about, it was also about his maybe future child. Because not only will the child most likely battle with problems but it will also have a live with the troubles that will come with his unnatural born.

Could he put his child into that position, could he be wise enough and have enough strength to raise his child to be victorious over his enemies. Merlin didn't have the answers to that yet, it would all depend on how much he wanted a baby of his own.

But as he looked down at Cass he had a strange feeling of wiling's in founding out what his future would be.

_Info:__ I research medieval toys for children and it seem lead dolls or wooden toys were a very cheap toy that the common kids use to play with. So I give her a lead toy because it was historical accurate but don't worry Cass doesn't like it too much. And there were no diaper back then so they just set them in clothes or blankets then change them out whenever they got unclean. The soup is also a real stew that they use to make back in the middle age._

_**Luka Knight: **_**Thanks, glad you enjoy the idea.**

_**Loulou2a: **_**There many questions that need to be answers before Merlin can even think about saying yes. But I happy I could make your brain think about it so much, that was one of my goals in writing this story in the first place!**

_**LadyFromPoland: **_**I love their mother and son relationship as well, so it wasn't a hard choice to pick her to be the one to give the advice Merlin needed. After all who better to get advice about parenthood then from a parent? You'll have to read on to see how Arthur reacted to Merlin little trip.**

_**ProcrastinationIsMyCrime: **_**You'll have to keep reading to see if either Merlin or Arthur regrets their choice. But I so happy I got you thinking about all that and I image that many people will wanted to strangle Arthur if he did hurt Merlin like that. **


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